Okay so I honestly don't know what the FUCK Warhammer 40k is, but your 5 mile long spiel made it sound worth being excited about.
It’s primarily a table top game that’s played with 28cm tall “miniatures”.
If you sell your soul and body you might have enough money to afford the actual hobby.
What’s enjoyable about it is the background lore, or at least I enjoy it. I’m super passionate about it, I don’t know why I clung to it so hard, but I did. I can debate/talk about it like it’s my holy scripture or something, it’s kind of pathetic. It’s a bleak, depressing, dark universe and setting. Its own tagline is “In the grimdarkness of the far future, there is only war”.
It’s got a lot of races.
Demi-god super humans in armor made of fuckyou, that crusade like it’s the 11th century
metallic skeleton people that are general automatons that want to strip your flesh and wear it
giant space lizards bugs that just want to eat your entire planet, no really
Orkz. Because why can’t orkz advance past a fantasy setting?They can! Just not… well
"Better than you" space elves that are scared of dying and really old, like "This forest is old, old as balls" old.
Other space elves that are notoriously darker and “eviler” than the other space elves and want to introduce you to a level of BDSM that is on steroids, and then they drain your soul.
A cult of “humans” devoted to machines so much that they gladly amputate their own ears and replace them with augmentics to hear better, NO REALLY. Each machine should be worshipped. PRAISE THE OMNISSIAH. 101110111.
there is even a faction that are blatantly inspired by 80/s90’s japanese mecha. they wear cool mecha-like suits and their skin is blue and they’re socialist.
If you’re into the tabletop, you collect these armies and play with dice and rulers and if you’re great at math, NOT CALCULATORS.
If you’re wise and don’t want to spend a dime you admire the hobby from afar and stick to the growing video-game market and read the novels from Black Library.
It’s a sci-fi setting from the 80’s made by old British guys. It’s a bleak setting that takes every theme to the extreme. Humanity is the underdog, despite being so populous that the dehumanization of death is a major issue. I wrote a thesis paper on it. There’s a lot of different factions and groups and races and such, and everyone is pretty bad, there is no set ‘good’ or ‘bad’ guys.
If you want to get into it, I recommend you check out Blacklibrary.com, there’s a lot of novels. A LOT. If you need a book recommendation, or an author recommendation, ask.
Regulus Black, the loyal son. Regulus Black, the Slytherin. Regulus Black, with grades just good enough to please his mother.
Regulus Black, who keeps his hair neat and is polite at family gatherings. Regulus Black, who does not pick fights, who does not ride a motorcycle, who does not hang out with werewolves or get disowned.
Regulus Black, who Phineas Nigellus keeps an eye on from the portraits on the walls. Regulus Black, who occasionally hears whispers of kindness from random frames, and catches winks and thumbs-ups from oil-painted old men and women as he walks to class.
Regulus Black, who sits through painfully long and dull Slug Club dinners, and writes thank you notes, and attends quidditch matches in the Slytherin bleachers with the right kind of kids.
Regulus Black, who graduates with a freshly healed tattoo on his forearm. Regulus Black, whose brother will not speak to him. Regulus Black, who makes his family proud.
Regulus Black, who lies to his mother when he says he will be staying with friends, who tells her he will take care of himself, with a knot in his stomach and an old necklace in his pocket.
Regulus Black, wandering the British coastline, only Kreacher for company. Regulus Black, angry, disillusioned, miserable. Regulus Black, finally doing something on his own. Regulus Black, disobeying everything he’d ever quietly and mild-manneredly adhered to.
Regulus Black, smearing his blood on the stone door, seeing it, with no reference for it except childhood scraped knees and bloody noses and cracked lips in dry weather. Regulus Black feeling important.Regulus Black, an individual.
Regulus Black taking the boat with Kreacher across the glassy water.
Regulus Black, cold, scared, drinking from the basin. Regulus Black, weakening, writing on a scrap of parchment, sending Kreacher home.
Regulus Black, fighting the undead.
Regulus Black, dead at nineteen.
Regulus Arcturus Black, the unsung hero of the House of Black, never burnt from the family tapestry, never again spoken of by his brother, never buried, never honored. Never remembered as anyone but a good pureblood boy who kept his head down and disappeared.
Do you think 40k would be better (at least regarding the canon) if Fantasy Flight Games were put in charge of at least the story aspects of the license? Let's assume they have the sense to never hire Matt Ward.
Just give the entire thing to our lord, Aaron Dembski Bowden. Amen